Button versus the world…Part One: Numbers and sums…


Button – I cannot cope with mathematics

Robert – Anyone who cannot cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house

Button – Sorry Robert… it’s just I’m more used to writing than looking at numbers

Robert – Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards

Button – Okay, maybe you’re right.. I’ll try my hand at numbers and sums

Robert – I never learned from a man who agreed with me

Button – Oh, piss off Robert.

 

My day in numbers…

 Cups of coffee – Four

Cigarettes – None

Muddy cat paw prints on dining room table – Twelve

Men who came to fix the shower – One

Men who came to fix the fridge/freezer – Two

Number of broken appliances in house actually fixed – None

 

Good news sum:  Wet cups + tea towel on kitchen radiator = No drying up

Bad news sum: Not going shopping + broken and therefore empty freezer = Ainsley Harriott’s rank asparagus and leek packet risotto effort for tea.  Yuk.

Random Button Fact no.145 – Me, Mrs Armitage, Moo-Ma, Moo-Pa and our late Nanna met Ainsley Harriott in a Wetherspoon’s in Sheffield.  Extra bonus detail: Nanna got him to sign a photograph of her bungalow.  FACT.

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